those long gone
take a walk in the alley of yesterday
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Tuesday, June 13, 2006
2:48 AM
please, stop pulling me away from the trying to keep my blog far away from being stagnant and dead. everyday i got a thought to at least add an entry but you are so much of a pain in my ass! always here to stop me from blogging. i hate my computer! it's always crashing, hanging.. arghh- i need a new computer, so
badly.
anyway, yesterday was totally not a wasted day. i went for my sec 4 class gathering @ causeway point. Initially, i was on the fence, whether to go for the gathering or not. specifically because causeway point just flood my emotional void with every thought that's running through my mind. because, i recalled the days when i really experienced my heartiest moments of my life. the cinema, bus 900 at the interchange, pasta mania and many more. these eloquent reminders are not all but tip of an iceberg of what i recalled. it just makes me feel so cold and crestfallen.
but hey, the purpose of this gathering was to catch up with my fellowships! eventually, i managed to set aside most but not all of my reluctance. i felt free once again, like a butterfly out of it's cocoon. :)
we eventually went to seoul garden to have our lunch even though there were objections voiced out about it being too expensive. a group of my friends, audery, raf, putera and jayne, sitting at another table beside us was like eating hell lot of meat. everytime i looked at them, it's just meat and nothing else, all over their pan. the sight of those hell loads of meat eaten by them just irks me. there was actually a promise made with myself that i'm not gonna eat chicken because i'm on medication but later on, i took a small piece of coffee chicken in my mouth, which jun wei claims that it was simply delicious. you know, sometimes it's just better to eat whenever you can. haha! and throughout the whole session of lunch at seoul garden, i ate only veggies, fishballs, crabsticks and some nice and juicy boiled prawns. those prawns were so sweet and delicious that i wasn't aware that i actually had 18 of them in my stomach. i got a picture to prove it. wait till i get that picture from gin.. heh ;)
so after that, we decided to catch a movie. we stood at the lobby there like a whole lot of road hawgers. and we're simply indecisive. we didn't come to a point of agreement on what movie to watch and so, the boys went to play arcade and the girls, shopping. then later, we took 960 to bukit panjang plaza macdonalds for a chat. we took lots of pictures and among those photos taken, it consist mostly audery and raf's photo. so, joel came up with his wacky idea: click, drag, delete those photos. it's so lame lah but then, how joel said it made it so funny, making us laugh our asses off all the time without fail. even though when everyone's was tired, he's the only voice that's still there to keep us alive. you rock joel..
i no longer face my back on reality because i've got to move on. i can't be bought down by this even though i know myself that i still would be affected someway or rather just like how he made you felt ambivalent.
i read your archives and i really find that i am the you last time and you're like him. and i am really shocked to come to know that what i feel is actually exactly the same as yours. i think you should know how i feel because you used to be in this position of mine now.
but the fact now is, i really treat you as a friend to me already and not expecting more from you. because i know, it's irritating if i persist, and i fully understand what you wanted. so,
remove those barriers that was built around me, those were not needed anymore. forget the bad impression of me being stubbord and a person who likes to mimick you or put words into your mouth and which you think i don't understand what you really wanted. because all these while the fact is, i know and i understand.
and i think i better get some sleep, because my aunt is gonna knock my door at 10am plus in the morning. gonna be a busy day which i would hardly get to study again.
A Source, Making Individuals Lively Everyday-
A S.M.I.L.E:)
